Tomorrow will never come: I am always now.
I belong to the time. Time unsettles, slips, constantly forces to come back to him, anticipating the untold remainders of present. I am moving towards myself, perceiving oneself as a former, bygone, the one who belongs to the past. Reflecting my incarnated being in this world I see the time as the moment of vanishing presence.
While aiming „to catch” the time I fixate and collect images of memories, trying to re-create the narrative of my inner life in particular order. Memories, lived moments are being perceived like the signs of nothingness, like multi-layered presence of consciousness, like records, while the time – like the flow of losses. Little by little the void unfolds in the memory, experience is being deleted and instead of it the signs of presence disruption appears. Meanwhile expanding voids are taken over by the images of life seen in photographies and it becomes the proof of extinct memories existence. Photography has the power to hold the presence.
While searching for the lost time I find diverse memories and receive the feeling of yearning for trueness, feeling of unfulfillment addressed to the past. I dive into the subjective ways of experiencing time trying to go back to myself. Authenticity, relation with oneself and the unique structures of existence becomes essential. I live through untimely monotony: time that is continuous, contracting, intensive, boring. I put in image the time that is already experienced trying to define the lines by relating to my own reflection, various things, space, environment. I focus on links leading to an actual, empirical past and therefore I am not letting the past time to melt into the void.
While picturing the time, I capture it: painting medium allows me to preserve my time and space meaning, regain value to the content of life. Conservation of experience allows me to live anew the moments that have already past: previously seen images appears in constant present time, only gained new material form. Works encode different time experiences: I try to reveal time that is not linear, while anticipating the flow of every day’s life; pictured subject-object transformations are deliberately expanded come and past moments, memories merged / signs of inexistence and empty present time.
While researching time and space dimension self-reflection element appears. Experience and inner self construction is extending in constant present time and composed on canvas. Time becomes a form of observation and fixation of biographical fragments, events, inner feelings, states and thoughts.
The exhibition is part of „Meno parkas“ project „The Young. Green Consciousness 7“.
The project is partly supported by Lithuanian Culture Committee and the Ministry of Culture of the Republic of Lithuanian.
